I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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