You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
