Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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