Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
