Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
