JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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