Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Apparently you make a good broom.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
