OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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