rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
