Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
