____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Rumble strips road head = magical
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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