Dual....:-)
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
