at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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