Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
