Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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