he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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