ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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