I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
