u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
