The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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