you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We need to get me chipped asap
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
