pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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