i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think i got beer on your cat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
