weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
