Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
