do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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