She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
