I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
