I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
