Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
