It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
