I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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