last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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