I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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