I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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