the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
