this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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