So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
do nipples grow back?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
