dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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