If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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