I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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