So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
