K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
