Just mADE A PArabola og urine
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
