like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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