btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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