i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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