3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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