Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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