he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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